Acceptance (English/Icelandic)

Not many understand me in this life. I am often viewed as dislocated from modern society. I do not do the “normal” things–no parties with friends; no dinners; no outings of drink and sports. I would much rather sit before a fireplace and read while enjoying a pipe of imported tobacco from Denmark with its sensual aroma. There were times back when that I felt alone. Then I grew up, and the time came when I woke to realize that it is me; the one who was borne from a time, cast into a future of which I do not belong. And yet I do. In a different way, a sort of mission-driven journey that wills me onward. I remember the ancestors like bearded brothers and dress-adorned sisters lost in the past, while I was launched forward through time. I feel no need to join the materialistic nature of this modern society. I feel no need to mingle. Hence the reason I moved to a small town in the mountains, for the trees and the pine-scented breeze that remind me of home. I’m beginning to know the residents here, during casual meetings in small bookstores or coffee shops. They are beginning to know me as the man who rides a growling steed, a man who observes, writes, and is always willing to share a smile, even though I know I do not have much to offer anyone, other than my stories. As I mentioned, I do not join societal games, I do not “go out”. Which seems detrimental to potential friendships. Do not get me wrong, this is not sadness speaking, it is acceptance, a realization that solitude is where I am destined to live, and that is fine. For I still recall the family of old–the sword, it hangs on my wall now, it speaks of ancient times. I will listen. I will live. I will write. And I will love. Until it calls me home once again. The only ones who truly knew me, will be the ones who light the boat’s pyre and float me to sea. I have made my choice. I will not strive to “fit in”. I will live for now, in absolute gratitude. That is all I can do. For I am a wanderer of time ….

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The pic is not me, but speaks for me.
I believe I will be silent for a time.

Ekki margir hafa skilið mig í þessu lífi . Ég er oft litið á sem dislocated frá nútíma samfélagi . Ég geri ekki “venjulegum” hlutum – ekkert aðila með vinum , enginn kvöldverði á veitingastöðum , enginn skemmtiferð drykk og íþróttir. Ég myndi miklu frekar sitja frammi á arninum og lesa en njóta pípa af innfluttum tóbak . Það voru tímar aftur þegar að ég fann einn. Þá er ég ólst upp , og sá tími kom þegar ég vaknaði til að átta sig á að það er ég , sá sem var fæddur af einu , kastað inn í framtíð sem ég tilheyri ekki . Samt geri ég ekki . Á annan hátt , eins konar verkefni ekið ferð sem vill mig áfram. Ég man forfeður eins skegg bræður og klæða – adorned systur glataður í fortíðinni . Mér finnst engin þörf á að taka þátt í efnishyggju eðli þessa nútíma samfélagi . Mér finnst engin þörf á að blanda . Þess vegna ástæðan sem ég flutti til í litlum bæ í fjöllum , fyrir trjánum og furu – ilmandi gola sem minna mig á heima . Ég er farin að vita íbúum hér, meðan frjálslegur fundi í litlum bókabúðir eða kaffihús . Þeir eru farnir að þekkja mig sem sá sem skoðar , skrifar , og er alltaf til í að deila bros , jafnvel þó að ég veit að ég hef ekki mikið að bjóða neinum , annað en í mínum sögum . Eins og ég nefndi , ég ganga ekki samfélagslegu leiki , ég er ekki “fara út ” . Sem virðist vera kostnað við hugsanlega vináttu . Ekki fá mig rangur , þetta er ekki sorg að tala, það er staðfesting, er framkvæmd sem einn er það sem ég er víst að vera , og það er allt í lagi . Ég man ennþá fjölskyldu gamall – sverð hanga það á vegginn minn núna , það talar um fornöld . Ég mun hlusta . Ég mun lifa . Ég mun skrifa . Og ég mun elska . Þangað til það kallar mig heim aftur . Þeir einu sem sannarlega þekktu mig , mun vera þeir sem lýsa bálit bátsins og fljóta mér á sjóinn . Ég hef gert val mitt . Ég mun ekki reyna að ” passa ” . Ég mun lifa fyrir nú , í hreinum þakklæti . Það er allt sem ég get gert . Því að ég er flækingur tíma ….

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29 responses to “Acceptance (English/Icelandic)

  1. You mean I’m not the only one? That is so nice to hear. And I will never conform. I did that when I was young boy, and my life was not peaceful. I’m glad you understand. 🙂

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  2. Well Erik it is what it is! Very personal and intimate and intriguing! A recollection documented and appreciated, Plus the Icelanders are beautiful and attractive people just to look at! One of those fortunate countries indeed……. claudy

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  3. Well, Erik, you did it again, you got inside my head and wrote who I am, minus the pipe and the growling steed. I have given up on trying to fit in, because I just don’t. I came here from another time and place and this world, is just not mine. My Mission is to bring Love and to bring Light, to heal with my Presence, to Walk Peace in a world of War, and to be ME. So yes that means much solitude, yet in order to “hear” what I am to pass on to this world, how else would this happen if I am surrounded by chaos and noise?

    It took over 50 years to get to where I am now. Over fifty years of preparation. Looking back everything I did and everything I learned is coming together right now to bring forth what I am. The only place I feel as though I fit in, is in a barn of all places among horses and barn cats. And of course my home.

    Some day, Erik, when our Contracts are finished, we leave here to return from where we came. I live for that day, to be honest with you. To me it will be like going from living in grey to full color spectrum.

    You continually amaze me. I would swear you are me in another skin. All I can do is shake my head in wonder.

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    • Yes, when our contracts are finished (I love that!) And I often find myself pondering the very same thing, waiting for my shift to end. I know you know, my sister of the Rose. I know you know. Love.

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      • Goddess Love you, Erik, yes I do. I was just thinking how I died in 1984 and shouldn’t even be here. I joked and said I was kicked out of heaven and sent back. Now I am beginning to know why. That’s a L O N G time to walk blindly on Faith.

        Yes, when we go Home, great the Celebration will be, because you know why? WE both are too stubborn to do anything less then what we were sent here to do. That’s why! (((HUGSS)))

        On Sunday, February 9, 2014, Erik S. Lehman wrote:

        > eriklehman commented: “Yes, when our contracts are finished (I love > that!) And I often find myself pondering the very same thing, waiting for > my shift to end. I know you know, my sister of the Rose. I know you know. > Love. “

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        • I’ve had a few of those moments also, and sometimes I wonder if I am really still here, or is this a transition between worlds. Hmm. In any case, I will continue with my purpose, as you do the same. Take care of those animals and that garden, it is much appreciated and will not go unnoticed. Love.

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  4. Erik, I for one am glad that you are not as you put it, “normal”. What fun would that be anyway? Normalcy is overrated and quite frankly, it is your uniqueness combined with your ever present gift of love and immense talent to express yourself that has drawn me in. 🙂

    xoxo

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