“Well, sir, here’s what happened. Those long legs strutted in wearing high heels and fishnet stockings, and one of those dresses that she wears to hide her legs for work. But she knows that I know. Anyway, then, with a head tilt, and crooked little grin, she gave me that gaze, you know the one. Then she grabbed a piece of toast off the table, crunched into it, winked at me, and clicked her way out the door while tossing that sultry voice over her shoulder, ‘Have a nice day at work, honey. I’ll be thinking of you’.”
“Ahem. Uh-huh. Well, I see you have been tested.”
“Yeah, ya think? … Okay, so, my name is Erik, and I had naughty, naughty thoughts. What should I do?”
“I see, yes, well this is what you must do then. Perform three Hail Freyjas … look up and thank the sky … because you have been blessed, son. Now go put a smile on her face.”
So I blew out the door and ran, and ran, and ran to my reckoning.
I am absolved.
I am sanctified.
I am a lucky, lucky man.